Angst of a Prodigal Son

Time is

2008-10-07T17:09:00.002+08:00

Too slow for those who waits,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,

But for those who love..

Time is eternity

Time is Life

Author Unknown

PS: The first four sentence = Well said

2008-09-25T05:01:00.000+08:00

I have got the car.
Next is a home.

Who says i am an alcoholic?

2008-09-18T10:29:00.002+08:00

There is an old Russian proverb that goes like this:

The church is near, but the road is icy.
The bar is far away, but i will walk carefully.

The lure of a drink could hardly have been captured more succinctly.

Charlie Angels 2

2008-09-15T00:03:00.004+08:00

What's the most memorable scene in Charlie Angels 2?

For me, it struck me hard and fast.

Recall the part where Madison Lee (Demi Moore) was talking to Charlie over the phone after her cover was blown?

* Not the exact script but almost

Charlie: You were a good angel..why are you doing this?

Madison: I was never good Charlie.
I was the best.

Yes i agreed with her
I am not good too. I am the best.

Oh pardon me
Because i do my best.

The Landlord

2008-05-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

2008 ( Part 2 )

2008-01-25T13:02:00.000+08:00

Time flies like an arrow,
Fruit flies like a banana.

Better finish my New Year's Resolution before i enter February.. Hahas

6. To be less critical of others (Even they are of me)
You know who you are.
And the saddest thing is I don't even care.

7. Go to church every Sunday (Yes..really..no more excuses)
This Easter i will recieve my confirmation as a Catholic

8. Run more (Nope..not more marathons Hahas)
Really..running releases tensions in you till you are tired even to think.

Guess 8 are enough for me..to keep me occupied for the whole year!

Yesh! Water to Wine Phoebe! Amen

Old School Fun!!! =p

2008-01-10T20:39:00.000+08:00

T & C apply

2008-01-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

Mobile Advertisement from St James Power Station

Ladies night Wed at Bellini Room, Gallery Bar (My Fair Lady) & Powerhouse (It's a Girlie Affair).
All ladies enjoy complimentary entry + 5 drinks.
T & C apply.

(So what's the T & C?)

2008 (Part 1)

2008-01-04T16:59:00.000+08:00

I was never one to make any New Year Resolution.

But i guess this year i am going to.
After all, making New Year Resolutions are what normal people do.
And i am trying to be normal too..

Let me at least try name a few;

1. Stay Clean (You have to be in my circle to understand what this means)
And its not about bathing, don't even think of cracking jokes

2. Be Happy
(Amid the ready smile and laughter..Its all a facade. I am not..most of the time)
You all think i am tough, coping well with a smile on my face

3. Pray More (Not just to God)
But pray that this year there will be less people flooding me with their sob
stories to borrow money

4. Spend Less, Save More (Pardon me, not on myself)
Should cut drastically down on those presents, gifts, etc.
Don't get much back anyway, not even simple birthday wishes

5. Love My Cat More (Stopping Sniggering - She loves me as much as my mum)
She will just lie besides me..and her presence is enough..

- To be Continued -

Stay Tuned Folks!

2007-12-26T15:43:00.000+08:00

God created the cat
So man can tame the lion

Only if you reach, then you can know how high, you can reach.

2007-12-22T12:46:00.000+08:00

If you do not try,
You will never get a chance to play.
If you do not play,
You will never know how good you are.
If you do not know how good you are,
You will never let yourself complete.

The moral?

Get out of bed and be ready.

Life is not a dress rehearsal,
And there's no room for regrets.

Life still goes on

2007-11-28T10:30:00.000+08:00

Two weddings and a funeral.

Life at times, is ironic, isn't it?

When one griefs, another is in celebration.
When one family breaks, another is born.

How many times in your life..
You wanted to meet up with someone but keep postponing it?
With 'reasons' like too tired, very rush, not free?

You thought that he will always be around..
You believed that life is immortal..

You thought that both of you are always best of friends..
You believed that when his big day comes you be his bestman..

Procrastination..don't just steal your time.

TUZKI & Q

2007-11-20T10:22:00.000+08:00

Tuzki is on a quest to make his life as easy as possible. After many months of careful engineering, he brings us his masterpiece of modern multi-tasking - The MOTO Q.

For Tuzki, MSN is as important as sunshine, air and wate. Being able to chat with friends while he's climbling Mt. Everest is one of his favourite things about the Q.

Tuzki multitasks effortlessly with his brainchild the Q.
How do you Q?

Tuzki surfs insatiably on the go.
How do you Q?

Tuzki is always online chating with his emoticon friends.
How do you Q?

See the website

You may have spotted this little bunny running around on the web or attached to your instant messages as a lively emoticon. He's got charm, he's got wit and now he's got the new Motorola Q. Get a closer look at the features o the Q with Tuzki as your fearless guide. The website is chock full of exclusive downloads and fun extras that will bring Tuzki to life!

Log on to www.asis.motorola.com/Q9 now!

What does my face look like to you?

2007-11-13T14:49:00.000+08:00

Correct me if I'm wrong.
Or if I'm being paranoid.
Maybe I'm hallucinating.
Even plain imagination.

Point is,
WHY DO I HAVE THE FEELING THAT I AM AN ATM MACHINE???

Never would any dictionary on earth classify these words under the same category

Brother, Help, Please, Check, Clear, Month, End, Baby, Diapers, Rent, Hard, Sister, No, Choice, Pay, Return, Bank, Account, Number, Transfer, Promise, Swear, Last, Chance, Time.

All the above.
Under this category: $$ Money $$

Why do I always entertain them.
Succumb to all their 'sob' stories.
When will I ever learn to say NO.
That it's enough.

Don't they know I am trying to live a life myself?

Meeooowwww!

2007-11-06T15:56:00.000+08:00

My name is Gal Gal, I have been adopted into a nice family..
My previous owner actually dump me! Leaving me on the street to starve and subject to abuse.. so bad of them!

Now my owner treats me good.. =)
My own space at home is in the kitchen toilet and I like to sleep on top of the cistern most of the time.. Its so cooling..

I am curious most of the time, I like to climb up and down, jump up and down... Maybe that's why I always get scolded and spanked..
Hmm... everytime I get caught, I just meow and act innocent until my owner feels bad to even scold or beat me...
Haha...

Now as I have become more adapted, my owner allows me to move around the house freely...and even at night!

I like to sleep on his bed, oohh
It's so cozy with the blanket wrap around me... =)

One thing i HATE most is bathing... Every week I had to endure through the freaking bathing time...
Owner likes to bath me, say I will smell nice and be comfortable...
Oh please, does he know me well enough??
He's not even a cat to begin with.

No matter how sad I meow and purr, he just ignore me all the time!!!
And there is this other company who always shut the door to prevent me from running away... I hate her..

That's why I always scratch her...
Hehehe... Serve her right... =P

After bathing, I will be damn busy... trying to comb all my hairs... You know, there are so many hairs to comb...
My owner tends to blow dry my hair with awful skill that make me look ssooo ugly.. =(

Often, I will run and hide to comb my hair to satisfaction until i come out and play again..
Well, who wants to be seen ugly, right??

United Nations Day

2007-11-02T10:22:00.000+08:00

I came to this Genesis School day event thinking it would be like any other normal school day event.
Boy, was i wrong.
The school is made up nationalities all over the globe.
What caught me unprepared was that all the students were autistic or mentally-challenged.
But they were all so loving, so cheerily and spontaneous!
And their parents, all coming in together hand-in-hand, to make the day a special one for the school and their kids.
They bought food, dolled up themselves, showed their country and culture with each nation devising up a game to get the program going.

The parents were an admirable lot.
No wonder they say " God only gives Special children to Special parents ".

What is wrong with Singaporeans nowadays?

2007-10-26T11:23:00.000+08:00

Let me narrate these two anecdotes to brighten up your day.

This morning, while i was in the MRT going off to work, a lady and her son was sitting beside me.
Apparently, she was sending her son to school and she was revising her son spelling test.
Her son is a real charmer, think around 4-5 years old.
And i feel that he is wiser beyond his age with the quirky remarks he dished out to his mum over the spelling quiz.
The amusing part was just before they were alighting.
The mum took out a ziplock bag with a slice of bread and started feeding the boy.
Haha.. Guess what?
The boy told the mum this," Mum, don't you know its wrong to eat in the train?"
The mum told him because he is running late for his class so he have to eat in the train now.
The boy sheepishly ate and was cupping his two hands, following his mum breaking the bread into small pieces to feed him, afraid of the bread crumbs falling onto the seat and floor.
Aww.. Isn't that sweet?

On Tuesday night i was at Bugis Mac waiting for my manager and a candidate for interview.
There was this man, around 40 years old and able-bodied.
He was going around approaching teenagers at Starbucks with a big red plastic bag containing packets of tissues.
Well, given his appearance; tall, tan and able-bodied, no one was convinced or sympathetic enough to buy from him.
And the man was grumbling to himself in his dialect-Hokkien.
Know what he said?
"What's wrong with Singaporean nowadays, all no money even to buy tissues"

Well, like the saying goes;
Same shit but only different day.

I will die for you..

2007-10-18T16:53:00.000+08:00

Inspired by a friend.

I will die for you..
Go through hell and back..
Travel through the seven seas..
Pluck the stars from the sky for you..
Nothing i wouldn't do for you..

I will die for you..
But only when we are playing P2P.

Wahahaha

2007-10-12T14:27:00.000+08:00

Now.
What are you think of when the commercial first started?
And after seeing the ending?

Well, that's why it never made it to Singapore.

Tainted

2007-10-09T23:09:00.001+08:00

"U DONT be liddat la.... dont look to the past yesterday will never return back,
everyday we focus on a new day, not expecting on yesterday."

(Pardon his language and grammar,we were on msn)

These were the exact words someone said to me after my reply to him wanting to be my best friend.
I said to him that i had heard this term 'best friend' too many times. And there are no best friends in my life, good ones maybe but only a few.

You have heard of the adage 'Forgive and forget'.
Ever heard of the maxim 'Those who forget the history are doomed to repeat it'?

Our past are like our shadows, lurking around always and you can never shake it off.

Why lie to yourself?

Desire

2007-10-08T21:38:00.000+08:00

Amber is the colour of your energy.

This is the nick by a friend on msn.
How short and apt.

It conjures up this little quote..
"I have never like anyone without anger,
because without anger, there's no passion."

By the way, if you can't comprehend,
Or don't even know what colour is amber,
Well..
Good luck!

My refuge

2007-10-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

"Remember..
If the world hates you, it hated Me first."

Sounds profound?
Not if you are a friend of J.C.

How often have you felt this way?
How often have Him comforts you when you do?

He, who 2000 years ago, already knew forehand what laid infront to be His friends.

Pink Ribbon

2007-10-04T17:44:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday was the launch of BCF(Breast Cancer Foundation) Pink Ribbon 2007. I went to offer my services of balloon sculpting in return for the guests to make donations. And come the ugly side of the rich. They would 'act act' push their child to come ask or take the balloon so they would not need to make a donation. One grandma was even worse. Carrying a handbag(Coach i think) kept telling one of my friend to perform juggling and the other the diabolo for her grandchild. She even have the cheek to 'Order' a balloon animal of her liking and colour and ASKING IT FOR FREE! When i tell her she has to make a donation, she again 'act act' at one side look for her purse and kept mumbling and telling me she don't have change. AND GUESS WHAT SHE DID? She behaved like a thief and tried to put in TWO TEN-CENT COINS into the slot of the donation bag using her hands to cover, hide the fact! How in the world this kind of people can become rich? Is this the way? By shortchanging? If she would have just say she don't have ANY small change or never bring her purse, we would still have gladly given the balloon to her grandchild. After all, its a charity event. She would also exit gracefully. Anyway, the turn-out wasn't that good. The performance by the ladies(Survivors of BC) was not only great but touching..

It's been 10 years but sadly to say, you can see people wearing yellow wristbands,Yellow Ribbons but few Pink Ribbons.

Look upon others

2007-10-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

Each time I get despondent, each time i get carried away, each time i start to question,

The Lord speaks to me..

Just when i left my job, when i start to ask why, He speaks to me..

I saw a friend from the 'past' and he was selling popiah at a coffeeshop.

Actually, i saw him quite a few weeks ago but didn't get the chance to speak to him, or i didn't really want to initate as we wasn't really that close 'inside'.

But that day due to some foreseen circumstances, i was to have dinner on my own, i decided to go talk to him before i go for my classes.

And i learnt lessons, valuable ones at that.

He is in his early twenties and working as an employee manning a popiah stall.

His salary is $1300 without CPF and works 9am-9pm everyday with only 2 of days in a month.

Can you believe it?

12 hours everyday, only 2 off days in a Month!

Who am i to grumble? Who am i to choose?

Am i better than him?

Today after my bible class, i asked myself;

Why are so many of the sponsors, enquirers all taking LV, Gucci bags?

They deserve it? The Lord blesses them?

A Cartier cufflinks?

I am perplexed..

Stumbled..

Time to pick up and go!

2007-09-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm..
How long was it since i last blog?
I also don't know..
And yet as i type on my keyboard now, the familiar sense of release and joy still overwhelms me like it was just yesterday.

So much have happened these past months.. And i hope i have become a stronger person out of these tribulations.
I learnt important lessons in life..
They are so simple lessons; everyone were telling me, advising me, and yet i have to go through it myself to truly comprehend them.
Still, out of every unwise decision, every wrong done, there's an experience to be gained.
As the saying goes, don't make the same mistake twice.

I will never again recommend anyone, not even my family or whatsoever for work.
And thank God, He let me learn this valuable lesson that is applicable to not just work but to all aspects of life itself.
And, i will never lend anyone large amounts of money ever again, be it that they say their cheque will be cleared or they now kicked out of their home.
There's no such generosity or guilible anymore.
When one disappeared, one without even the decency to ask whether i need the money back.
It's so easy when they want to borrow; Please! Help! Next month i get pay will return you. Next Monday i my cheque will be cleared.
Well, FUCK THEM.
I won't ask for it back, i just measure them against the money.
Heck, some not even worth $50.
Haha, how degrading.

Now, on the plus side.
Although i left my job, i leave on a good note.
No more question, hinting or blaming.
I can be Me, without pretense.. without reservations..
Now is to concentrate on the task at hand (Confidential) and pray that the good Lord will guide me and touch the hearts of the people in my way.

Good gracious!
To be able to write,to pen down in words is so beautiful.

I promised you a future.
I will deliver.

Dad

2007-05-20T15:59:00.000+08:00

My Dad

How will you be remembered?
Only by the memories you leave behind.
Your memories will be as vivid and colourful as a young man quest.

Legends will be told about you,Dad,
When i needed help, you were there.
Your shoulder was a place where i could rest my head.
A harbour amid stormy seas.

How are you now?
Seven years have gone so fast.
Do you look down upon us?
Do you miss us as we long for you..

Follows you like a shadow.

2007-04-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

The more one tries to forget..the more one remembers..

They say the day you forgive yourself..is the day you dare to come clean about your past.

Forgive?

How to?

This is what you say about trying?

This is what you say about doing your best?

This is what you say about acceptance?

Life..

2007-04-12T16:16:00.000+08:00

Today was the first time after a long day at work, i didn't felt like going home.
Too much were on my shoulder, too much for me to handle.
They say a burden shared is a burden halved.

Well, they were wrong big time.

I shared, with a person whom i thought will ask me how but asked me why.
I shared, with someone whom i believed would console me but mocked me.
I shared, with one that told me i could tell her anything but brush off like i'm hallucinating.

I wish i could load some of my thoughts down..
In this blog that i could truly trust, rely on..
I have so much to say..and yet i'm at a loss for words..
And due to legal reasons, i can't even start..

Times like this i felt so alone..
Who will hold me close..
Who will hold me tight..
Who will hold me and never let me go..

A piece of me..

2007-04-12T16:11:00.000+08:00

Today wasn't good for me..
After wandering till i decided to go home..
A place i thought would take away my weariness,
When i reached my gate, i discovered my running shoes were stolen.

Why did someone have to take something so meaningful to me?..
A pair of shoes that i wore for my marathon?
How many mornings i force myself to wake 5am to train..
With the big day itself..completing the 42km alone..no welcoming hands from anyone..
Except my pair of shoes to walk me home the lonely journey..

I hate the person who took it.

A Piece of Me

2007-04-08T18:25:00.000+08:00

Please give me the strength to press on..

2007-04-02T23:03:00.000+08:00

I knew life for me wasn't easy..
I knew it 5 years ago when i decided to change, make a difference in my life.

It seems so easy putting your plans, goals and dreams down on paper.
It seems even easier when i tell others.

But life always gives you an ironic twist.

I thought i finally have made the cut.
Improved relationships with my family,
Found a great job with a great boss and colleagues,
Embarking on a higher education,

But life always never made things easy for me.

I lie awake every single night..
The ghosts of my past haunting me..
Jolting me awake every night in the forms of different nightmares.

Who will understand me?
Who will allay my fears?
Who will rock me to sleep?

Loving till it hurts..

2007-03-12T22:25:00.001+08:00

Love..
The girl in the movie asks what is love?
There is never true love.
Love?
Yes.
Love for your parents.
Love for your siblings.
Love for your friends.

But there is no romantic love.
No.
Not in her world,she says.

Today,I believed her.

Weary..so this is how it feels..

2007-03-12T22:24:00.000+08:00

Never before..
Had i ever felt so tired..in my 28 years..
Not the physical kind but the mental one..
The kind that eats away all your zest..then your strength..not even leaving you the energy..to give yourself a pat on the back.

Today.
I broke my heart.
And yes.
I broke my phone too..haha.

Yes..i broke my own heart.
I broke it the day i decided to love again..
The day i chose to open my heart once more..

Never had i felt so lost..
So hurt..
So tired..
Not even the first time i know i will be going into the hole.
Not even the first time being taken away my dignity..replaced by a mere number..
Not even the day my Dad left..

Guess i'm really getting old..
What was a brash young man in the past
One that never bend..never show any emotions..
Have been buried along with the passage of time..

Time..
Have hammered out all the confidence in me..
Time..
Have mellowed me down..

Nowadays..
I cry in my heart..
Try to hide a tear by rubbing my eyes..
Choose to be silent..or hide in the shadows..
Rather than speak out..stand tall..

What goes around
Comes around..
It has come full circle.

Paradox..

2007-03-05T23:09:00.000+08:00

Life..
Is so beautiful..
And yet at times can drag you down..
To the extend that you can't wake up in the morning..
Where every single task can drained you up.

Love..
Is so beautiful also..
And yet at times..can tear you up too..
To a point that you feel like giving up all.

I hate crossroads..
They make you choose choices that you can see the road infront..
One wrong turn and..

Please tell me what is my niche..
Please tell me what is my purpose in life..
Please tell me where is my love..

Please lead me..

What a joke!

2007-02-19T23:39:00.000+08:00

Everyone told me to get a girlfriend if you feel lonely..
She is supposed to be your friend..your companion..your lover..
To be by your side..
To be a listening ear when you have too much things on your mind..
To hold your hand when you are feeling down..
To hug you tight in embrace when you you are scared..
To offer her shoulder when tears overwhelm you..
And most importantly...someone to share your joy with..

But as i said..
They never make any difference in my life.
They never stay longer enough anyway.
Open my heart? They say..
What a joke..a pathetic one..

You are only opening your heart to be hurt.
Only to be reminded once again what a fool you have been again.
Only to be lifted up by false hopes..false dreams..false promises..false love..
Only to be lonely one more..

New Year!

2007-02-19T23:38:00.001+08:00

Chinese New Year..
Never in my life had i so look forward to this festival before..
Although Dad is no longer with us..we are happy now and i am sure he is also happy up there above with the Lord.
After this new year,will mark a new beginning,a new chapter in my life.
I'll no longer hide myself among the crowd,but stand tall.
Be myself,the confident at times mistaken to be conceited or aloof.
This is what i owe to my boss who believed in me..it's time i prove myself.
Yes..there will no longer be addressing her as Madam,but Jeanne as equal.
I have to move on..away from my past..so that it won't in time engulf me.

Lord, i really thank you for what i have now..everything..
Please continue to bless me..guide me..Amen.

Its Coming to 2 months.

2007-02-10T18:09:00.000+08:00

It's coming to 2 months since i joined this Event company..
And my application for permit to travel overseas have failed me twice..
From that very day i accompanied them to the airport for the Hong Kong trip..seeing they have so much large,bulky and heavy stuff to carry..and i can't be of help,makes me lie awake at night pondering whether i'm discounting my boss.
Should i move on?. As i really don't fit the requirements of what the job entails.
As much as i don't like to be shortchanged by others,i also don't want to shortchanged others.
And it's hard..to live behind a facade everyday..hide behind a mask..
Whereby people started to question,the lies running thinner and thinner..
When one starts dropping hints..start speculating..you may not even have space to breathe.

But i shall press on.
No matter what lies in store for me,i will face them head-on.
The day of vindication will arrive..and i will be able to stand tall.

Is it meant to be..

2007-01-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

This was posted on my horoscope - Aries on Monday:

When it comes to love,experiencing the agony of defeat can be overwhelming,it is true.
But are you so spooked you will not even get back in the game?
Remind yourself that there are no winners or losers in love.

When i came across this,it hit me hard at my face..
First thought that leapt to my mind was what an irony this reading was..
I laughed in my heart with a piercing pain wondering this message is for whom..

These few weeks have been tough for me..
The entanglement of a relationship..the flip side of love(hate),the thorns of the rose..

The Heat is on

2007-01-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

Sorry that i have not been updating my blog recently as being tied up in work.
I have more or less settle down into the job and familiarize with what it entails.
It's not bad,really! And with a terrific boss and colleagues,every working day is a pleasurable one.
Still,there's a flip side..i have put on weight! It's difficult to squeeeze time out for keeping fit and yet i have been indulging in sinful food almost everyday..
And you know what mum said?! Count your blessing to be able to work with girls and with them around,food will always be around! ('',)
My boss is really too good to me..at times too much for my liking..my comfort..
My permit have failed me and i won't be able to tag along for the upcoming trip to Hong Kong..
Boss told me not to be sad..and although she very much wishes for me to help carry the paraphernalia,wants me not to take it to heart and keep the faith.
What she said only made me feel worse..
It's going to be a rough ride for me ahead and i wonder how long before i can reach smooth terrain..
My life will be like this..always..
Are you prepared?..To helm this ship together with me?

Sorry guys,that i have not be keeping touch and clubbing much these days..
Work tired me out and with such good boss,i need to be responsible.
Hope you all understand.

Anyway,
As the going gets tough,
The tough gets going!

Life's a blur..

2007-01-06T11:05:00.000+08:00

It's so hard to see ahead of your life at times..
Just a bomb..disrupting lives..and taking them..
Why do God allow all these?
One may question..
Guess this is the process of growing..shaping us..
When will we humans ever learn?
Love conquers all,
And is the only thing in the world you have to give before you can recieve.

What tomorrow may bring?..

2007-01-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

A brand new year..
What lies ahead? It's so hard at times to see the road infront of us,even though i'm a self-proclaimed visionary..
Fourteen years ago i made a choice..and my life will never be ordinary ever again..can never comprehend what is a plain-sailing life.
In store for me will only be full of tests,struggles and temptations..
Someone told me i can never offer security..stability..
Well,i beg to differ.
Yes,i admit i'm a die-heart romantic.I only believe in love,not bread.
But i would never let her feel unsafe..let her go hungry.
I may not be able to let her live in a mansion but a roof over her head is certain.
I may not be able to let her have delicacies for every meal but i can prepare every meal using my own hands with a touch of love.
I may not be able to give her the most exquisite jewellery but she can be rest assured of the priceless gem i'm putting in her hand to safeguard-my heart.
Some ask me..when am i going to change my life?
For your infomation,I'm already changing..
Change,needs time. Not something you can do overnight,unless you go for plastic surgery by Woffles Wu.
Only one who have gone over to the Dark Side before knows how easy and tempting to fall back in.
One would'nt even understand the word 'forbbiden fruit' if one never tasted it before.
It's either you are in the circle or out of the circle. Simple as ABC.
Why do i keep you out in my life?
Why don't i show more of my care and concern?
We can also be as loving?
Sorry..i only wanted to protect myself..to set up a shield,a facade..
You may say i scared of commitment,want a relationship with no strings attached or even out looking for a fling.
But only i know deep down what my heart feels..
And too bad,since you are not willing to listen,understand,hold my hand and gently lead me out of this darkness,
You willl never know.
Hope i can contribute and really be useful to my company.Let me hold my head high..for once.
Studies..something i really need to contemplate seriously before any decision made.
It will be a long and tough ride.
Start every journey with an end in mind..
So if i start one,you can be deadsure you are going to see me at the finishing line.
And Yes!
I love my family.
Please be with me..please be patient with me.
I may not be a successful moneyspinner with a Midas touch,
But i will lead a clean life,never back to the past.
A brand new year..
And Lord,i thank you for this year.

After so long..

2007-01-02T13:54:00.000+08:00

Finally..after so many years of awaiting..
I finally got to celebrate Christmas..and New year..
I thank God for this..And my family..And my friends..
It would be meaningless without them..
I love you all! ('',)

Live for the present..

2006-12-25T20:32:00.000+08:00

Remember that tough times don't last forever..
The flower will still bloom after a heavy downpour..the sun will still rise tomorrow morning from the east.

Ups and downs will always be prevalent in our lives..
It's saddening at times when you hear of unfortunate incidents happening to people close to you but we should never let them overwhelm us..
Because life is so much more beautiful than that.

The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears..

After 5 years...

2006-12-25T20:15:00.000+08:00

Finally..
After 5 long years..this year i get to celebrate Christmas..the only festival i look forward to every year..
Guess it's in my veins..the Lord has been present in life even before i know him.
The Lord has been faithful to me.. what can i say?..
I'm the one always wanting to live my life by my own ways..
Lord..I pray to you..that i will forever cling on to you..

Trust in Him and He will provide..

2006-12-23T00:23:00.000+08:00

My boss Jean and her husband Kong are really great!
They are so patient and thoughtful with me..
Not to forget my colleagues,Joanne,Jenny,Chase..they really make me feel like part of the family.
They all got me christmas presents..aren't they sweet?!

I learnt quite a few things these few days..and more will be coming up.
If everything goes smoothly..I'll be going Bangkok next January!
Can you believe it? It's totally awesome!

My only concern is that my application might fall through..
If then i will not be of any help to the company..and will be letting everyone down..
And pray that i absorb everything like a sponge,so that i will not short-changed the company.

The moment i decided to surrender my life to God,He has not failed me..

But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strenght.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

Warms the soul..

2006-12-20T22:25:00.000+08:00

Everything was great today.
Going to start work officially tomorrow and they are giving me a thousand five salary with professional working hours!

Had a wonderful day spending quality time with my brother Alvin and his wife Jannie.Got Christmas presents from them..
Aww..ssooo sweet..

Tonight..my brother said something to me that's going to change my life forever..
He said this..Christmas eve and New Year day doesn't matter..
What really means to him is Chinese New Year eve..when a family have a reunion dinner..
And he's been looking forward to this for all these years while i'm away..
For most of my life..it's all about my friends..
Now,it's going to be about my family.

God's grace..

2006-12-17T12:31:00.001+08:00

The Lord have spoken out to me..
Led me as a lost sheep back into his arms..
Last night i sent out my resume to an Events company through email,just trying my luck..
The next day while i was still sleeping,mum told me to go to Novena church to pray and give thanks to the Lord since i free as out of work..
To my surprise,the Events company called me up for an interview..and guess what!
The location is at Goldhill plaza..at Novena!
I immediately knew God is at work in this.
When i went down,everything went smoothly..
I declared my past,they completely held no helms about me and even advised me not to let my co-workers know just in case they hold it against me.
They are also going to write a company letter for me to apply a permit for leaving the country.
And the icing on the cake..
They are a christian family!

Lord..i thank you for guiding me..for You have a plan for me even before i was born.
Amen.

Reality check..

2006-12-16T02:17:00.000+08:00

Today..
i've been 'asked' by the company to resign on my own accord..
The top management got 'wind' of my tainted past and there's no room in their company to 'accommodate' me.
One important lesson to be learnt from this experience:
Never ever trust anyone again..no matter how harmless they might appear to be..they are just waiting..waiting to use you to gain leverage in their advancement..
This is the reality world..and it's time i take a reality check..and stop looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses..
It's high time i start being a realist instead of an idealist.
To toughen up,never look back,show them what i'm made of.
I will not be despondent but press on for only those who finishes the race will taste the fruits of their labour.

Such a difficult word..

2006-12-15T00:02:00.000+08:00

Love..is like war..
Easy to start but hard to end..

How true..
One can fall in love in a twinkle of an eye..but may take a lifetime to forget someone..

What am i searching for..it seems to be in all the wrong places..
I don't ask for much..only a girl to hold my hand when i'm down..to lend me her ears when i need to pour out my feelings..
But everyday i felt so alone..amid the mass of people around me..

Persevere and endure!

2006-12-13T23:01:00.001+08:00

Looks like i got to hang in there for at least another 15 days or so in this stupid job..
The contract states that if i resign within 14 working days,my pay per day is only $20..
And i need to give a notice of 7 days or pay-in-lieu of notice..
If i quit now..my pay for the last week can't even cover the pay-in-lieu..

Lord..please grant me the strenght to pull through these two weeks..
And pray that You will lead and guide me to the path You laid out for me..

What do we really live for?

2006-12-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

Today i made up my mind to quit this job..
Right..i know it's only been four days..but i HATE it..
The people..the management style..the politics..the slow-paced enviroment..everything!
The way they 'cut' sales on the pretext of 'guiding' me..the surface of coaching me..
How i wish i could just let it all go..once and for all and give them shit!
But i cannot go back to a life of the past..i have to be sensible ..
Guess i'm going to disappoint my mum again..everyone must be thinking this..i can't hold a job..
What is wrong with me?..
I also don't know..
Felt so alone when waiting for the bus home..where are all my friends?..
To think yesterday a so called 'brother' don't even remember who i am..
Haha..it's so hilarious..to think that i still kept him in my mind all these years..still abide by this stupid code..
Life is so meaningless at times..
What do you think?

After three days..

2006-12-13T23:00:00.001+08:00

Well,i have endured three days of retail life and its sucking me up..
I'm working 11 hours straight with only a half hour meal breaks..and i still have to take away and eat inside the shop..
With the transport time factored in..The rest of the day is for 'resting'.
Working in jewellery line is totally a fresh experience..but basically is still front-line sales of 'smoking' people into buying your products..
My colleagues are so-so..maybe need more time to built rapport with them.
To date i sold three items..pitiful,isn't it?
My cherry-popper was a pinkie ring costing $29.90.

Anyway,i'm stationed at Suntec SK jewellery so anyone interested in geetting anything from SK..
Do me a favour by coming down to Suntec and buy from me and help to increase my sales..haha.
By the way,i can only enjoy staff purchase after three months. ;p

Running alone..

2006-12-13T22:57:00.000+08:00

Yup yup..i'm able to call myself a marathoner as from today.
Did the full marathon in 5 hours..ya,walked a little..haha.
After the 21st km was really like Claudius said..it separates the boys from the men.
I pushed on till the 28km and my legs really were killing me..
Man,if my legs can talk and were to speak to me..they will f*** me upside down.
After that i walked when past every water point to get a breather.
Well,i managed to hang on till the finishing line and i tell you..never have i been this glad to see these two words.

Immediately upon completion.. i was dying to share my joy with someone..anyone..
I see all the runners with their families,their loved ones..all here to show their support and love..
I thought of myself..no one..i didn't even know who to call..
Eventually did made a few calls but no one answered..
I felt so alone..running this race alone..
No joy is greater than shared joy..but who to share it with?.
Still..i never regret for a second that i took part in this marathon..

Marathon 2007
Here i come!

The Race of my life..

2006-12-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

In another 18 hours or so..i'll be running the biggest race in my life to date..
The Standard Chartered full marathon 2006..
It's tomorrow 3rd December Sunday kicking off at 6am sharp.
It was just six months ago i made the decision to run this 'race'..just four months ago i crossed the threshold of no return when i officially signed up for the race..
What am i thinking of right now?. Just a day before the marathon?.
Nothing..except for one thing,
I'm going to finish this race,this marathon..but not by walking.
Pray for me that everything will go smoothly without a hitch..

A 'dream' job?.

2006-12-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

I'm now officially employed by SooKee jewellery and signed the Terms and Conditions contract yesterday..
Will commence on the 5th Dec next tuesday..
Well,they want me to STYLE my hair!!
Can you imagine??
How to style?? i also don't know..and have to wear long-sleeve shirt,long pants..and..even a TIE!
It will be SSOOO uncomfortable..
What to do..this is life..
But it won't be for long,haha..
Give and take four months and i'm out of there! ('',)

Running for a 'cause'..

2006-11-29T10:05:00.000+08:00

Had a night out with my elder brother Alvin on monday..
To me it was kind of a bonding session..and it's been ages..since the both of us did something like this together..
As a matter of fact..i don't think we ever did something like this..
We played pool,chat and of course drank! Haha..
The last time was also when i just regained independence..but it was only over coffee..

The gap between us broaden when he entered secondary school..
After that was because i 'led' a different lifestyle..

I'm gratified that he recieved me back with open arms..like i was never gone..
I want to erase the hurt..the humiliation i have caused him & my mum..and never to forget..my dad..
That's the main and only reason i'm running the marathon on sunday..
I want them to be proud of me..to be able to hold their heads high once more..to tell others this..
He is my son..
He is my brother..

I want to see the bright look on their faces whenever they mentioned to anyone i'm running this race of my life..
I love you..my dearest family..

Calm after the storm..

2006-11-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

It is raining outside the prison,
My heart as if,also,is raining..
How,i don't know..whenever it rains,
I always think God is sobbing for me..
How,i don't know..whenever i smell the rain water,
I always think about the sadness of past events..
How,i don't know..the start of each downpour,
It always harasses my mood..
How,i don't know..whenever the rain gets bigger,
My mood will bottom out,sadder..

It is raining again outside the prison,
My heart is accustomed to the atmosphere of rain..
When,i don't know..i like the sound of rain..
Because it carries my aspirations..
When,i don't know..i like the raindrops,
Because they wash away my tears..
When,i don't know..i like the flavour of rain water,
Because it lets me recollect the warmth of home..
When,i don't know..i have fallen in love with the rain,
Because after downpour,a rainbow always appear..

This is a poem i wrote in 2003..
There's also a mandarin version..

A simple four-lettered word..

2006-11-25T17:16:00.000+08:00

Love..such an incomprehensible word..
It's such an absurd thing..i don't believe in love and yet i take joy in seeing two people come toether in love..
Funny right?
Girls come and go in my life..they never stood around..even if they did,never long enough to make a difference.
People say that in a relationship it takes two hands to clap..
But you know..you get tired of clapping after some time..
Why? You may ask me..
Well..it's the same principle..
If you need to change yourself everyday into the relationship after being together..why did she chose you in the very first place?.
Don't they realize if they totally changed us..we wouldn't be 'us' anymore?

Friends ask me what do i look for in a girl..
I thought about that many a times..But couldn't give a snap reply as i usually do..acting like a smart alec,haha
But one fine day the answer just came to me in the gust of the wind..
I was taking a bus ride home..and it took me almost 2 hours..
These days..which girl would be willing to take a bus ride of more than an hour?
And the comprehension came..this is the girl i'm searching for..
A girl willing to hold my hand and sit through the 2 hours bus ride home..

Feeling Great!

2006-11-24T10:15:00.000+08:00

After three long weeks of giving excuses of not getting up early in the morning for my practise runs..
Finally i kick my sorry ass out of bed this morning and went for a 10km run at east coast park..and..i'm glad i did it!
It's been quite awhile since i really workout and yup..SWEAT..
The scenery was beautiful..breath-taking..
Later will be going to Suntec city to collect my marathon package..can't believe it's drawing near!
Well..got to train seriously for the next week or i'll have to 'walk' the marathon..haha.

Life is not what we mean it to be..

2006-11-23T00:53:00.000+08:00

Today went for a few interviews..immediately got three offers..
Should i be happy? Elated?
Well..i really don't know..
Frankly speaking..i don't even know what i want..what is my purpose in life..my calling in life..
Why am i so lost..like in the midst of an ocean..
Follow my heart..but what does my soul really yearn for..
Guess it's time for introspection..to take stock of my life..

'Dream like there's always tomorrow..
But live like there's only today..'

My favourite quote by Horace.
And i quote others only the better to express myself.

2006-11-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

Yahoo! My exams are finally over..
Finally i can breathe better and look for a full-time job.
Now the next hurdle is the Standard Chartered marathon..Here I come!

Sanguine..

2006-11-19T19:02:00.000+08:00

Never really been updating on my life recently..
The one thing i'm most afraid of is to be caught and burdened down by life..and i have fallen into its clutches..
Life is supposed to be beautiful..to be fulfilling..isn't it?
They say it doesn't matters how you die..but how you have lived..
Life is so full of these simple lessons and yet why is it so difficuil to comprehend them?
One cannot know true joy when one's heart is bound by desires..

So many thoughts crossed my mind recently..
But was too tired to put them down..
Still..i always believe tomorrrow will be a better day..for me..for my loved ones..my friends..

Beatles had a billboard 100 song 'Yesterday'..
..How i long for yesterday..
The lyrics goes..
It was among my favourite songs and is still now..

But..hope is where tomorrow resides..

What do we really live for..

2006-11-18T05:47:00.000+08:00

Money..Is it really that important?
Why does the F***ing world need to revolve around it? Why does everyone need to keep it on their lips?
It's only a medium of exchange,a piece of paper.
It's something you did not bring it with you when you are born and cannot bring it with you when you die..
Then what's the f***ing big deal about it!

Perish the thought..

2006-11-12T17:16:00.000+08:00

Memories of love never pass..
They linger,guide,and influence long after the the source of stimulation has faded..there is nothing new in this.
Every person who has been moved by genuine love knows that it leaves enduring traces upon the human heart..
The effect of love endures because love is spiritual in nature.
The man who cannot be stimulated to great heights of achievement by love is hopeless - he is dead,though he may seem to live..
If you believe yourself unfortunate because you have loved and lost,perish the thought.
One who has loved truly can never lose entirely..
Love is whimiscal and temperamental..it comes when it pleases and goes away without warning..
Accept and enjoy it while it remains,but spend no time worrying about its departure..worry will never bring it back..

Dedicated to all who were once in love too deeply..and now afraid to fall in love again..

Kismet.?..

2006-11-11T16:44:00.000+08:00

Destiny is not a matter of chance,it is a matter of choice;
It is not a thing to be waited for,it is a thing to be achieved..
You may be disappointed if you fail,
But you will be doomed if you don't try.

Life is in your own hands,you live your own life.

If i had only known..

2006-11-09T22:21:00.000+08:00

If i had only known it was our last walk in the rain..
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm.
I would hold your hand,like a lifeline to my heart.
And underneath the thunder we'd br warm.
If i had only known it was our last walk in the rain.

If i had only known i'd never hear your voice again..
I'd memorize each thing you ever said.
And on these lonely nights,i could think of them once more..
And keep your words alive inside my head.
If i had only known i'd never hear your voice again.

You were the treasure in my heart..
You were theone who always stood besides me..
So unaware,i foolishly believed that you would always be there..
But then there came a day when i closed my eyes..
And you slipped away..

If i had only known it was my last night by your side..
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn.
And when you smiled at me,i would look into your eyes..
And make sure you know my love for you goes on and on..
If i had only known..
The love i would've shown..
If i had only known..

Does this stir up any feelings inside you.?..

Memories..

2006-11-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

Time can never be recaptured once it is passed.
Time will not even pause for a moment.
Nor will time be forgiving as it is fleeing away.
Time spent together cannot be measured,for those precious moments become priceless memories to the beholder..

I have always loved the song Hotel California by the Eagles..
..How they dance in the courtyard..
..Some dance to remember..
..Some dance to forget..

How true..

Such an intangible thing..

2006-11-07T01:17:00.000+08:00

Love..is like holding sand..in your palm..
The harder u try to grab on to it,the harder you squeeze..the more you will lose your grasp on it..as it slowly slip off through your fingers..
But when you give it space and just hold it freely..not even a grain will pass you by..
Love..is such an intangible thing.. You can't see it but you can feel it in the air..
Two people in love..but at the wrong time..
One cannot know true joy when their hearts are entangled my desires..
Life is so full of these simple lessons..and yet i can't comprehend them..

How it went..

2006-11-03T21:52:00.000+08:00

Finally the doom day have arrived and have scraped through two papers of my 'A' levels exams..
General Paper was tough..with the essay and application.
Chinese was even worse..i don't even dare to comment about it..
Well,no point crying overspilled milk..there's still four more to go.. Man,have to buck up already!

Working man..

2006-10-31T14:39:00.000+08:00

This week has been an eye-opening and enlightening experience for me..
I took up a part-time stint as an electrician. But nothing i 'know' about this profession prepared me for what lies ahead of me..
Climbling up and down 12 stories,working down-under basement-level where your mobile doesn't even have rececption in a sauna-like confined enviroment where you sweat till your eyes blurred and underwear fully drenched,the ventilation like a sandstorm in your face and doing obstacles and low-high walls like S.O.C army-style..
The first day took me practically breathless..abit dreading the second day.. During the journey home..i asked myself do i want to work like this for life? If i give up my studies now,i'll be leading this kind of life..Do i want? It's time for some introspection..
The second day i went fully prepared and did pretty well..
The third day i kind of get used to the routine already and started to like the sweating and stuff. And during the ride back home i thought out aloud to myself that this isn't a bad way to earn a living after all. Without the working man,how are the roofs over our head been built? How did our nation got to where we are now? Surely not by the hands of lawyers,administrators,doctors..?.
Was literally looking forward to the fourth day and man did i make myself useful!
Well,very fast the week had came to an end and i truely thank God for this fulfilling experience..
I'm proud to be a working man!

10-28-2006 at 03:22 AM

Believing in myself..

2006-10-31T14:36:00.000+08:00

I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many loved ones and close friends..
Thanks a million for believing in me when i don't even believe in myself,thanks for the faith you all put in me..
Yes..now it's my back to the wall..it's now or never. I'll not go down without a fight!
'A' levels,here i come!

10-22-2006 at 01:28 AM

Stupid haze..

2006-10-31T14:34:00.000+08:00

This idiotic haze has been a menace to my running regime. At this rate,i will be walking the marathon..not running it..
Haiz..even my running buddy got attacked by it and have missed quite a few sessions.. Running on my own is so boring...
Wish and pray that it will soon pass with clear blue skies once again!
Faster,the clock is ticking...

10-19-2006 at 04:34 AM

Lord,please help me..

2006-10-31T14:13:00.000+08:00

Everywhere i go,everyone i met says that i can do it..i'm meant for great things..i can breeze through my up-coming 'A' levels exams..
They know that i can do it..and they believe sincerely deep down that i can..
But do i really..i am no longer the man i used to me.. Time have mellowed me down..Hammered away all the boyishness in me.
These days,i have lost the zeal and zest in my life..at times,it's even a drag to pull myself out of bed..
Why..? I ask myself every single night.. Am i giving up without a fight? No,i won't!
Does everyone of you understands how hard it is for me everyday,i know that life isn't a bed of roses..but the temptations,struggles and worries of life are draining me away..i can now barely float..let alone swim to shore..
There are so many important tasks at hand,i don't know how to juggle them all at once..
People always say that i'm a thinker.Well,maybe i think too much..
Everyday now,i feel like i'm living under a facade..it's so painful..not being able to be the real me..to live the real me..
You may say that i'm perculiar,a bit strange..when i go out alone,when i want to bask in my own solitutide..
This gives me the space i greatly need,the time for me to reflect,take stock of my life..
Today,I pray to the Lord to grant me the Strenght to finish this race,this journey i have started..His Grace to deliver me these difficult times of testings..The Understanding towards my mum,loved ones and friends..
Trust in Me and I will provide.
My Lord,i surrender my life to you.. Amen

10-09-2006 at 08:35 PM

I'm not alone!

2006-10-31T13:57:00.000+08:00

I always used to think that i am lonely.
I envy people who tell me,'This is my childhood friend,or this is my church friend.'I thought that i don't have such friends who have stood the test of time...
Never do i realize how wrong i was.
It was i myself who strayed away from them..distanced myself away from them.
But they were always here..waiting for me in the background..and now receiving me back like a prodigal son,with wide open arms..
Thank you..
I do have friends who have withstood the test of time!

10-02-2006 at 08:11 PM

Please try to understand me..

2006-10-31T13:46:00.000+08:00

You must accept the fact that i can never be like a normal person..
The 'things' i gone through..have forever shaped my life..
I can't grow up if you don't allow me to.
Please don't hold me down,i know i can achieve great things..
Let me do what my heart yearns to do..let me live my dreams,my goals,my passion..

Tomorrow i am going to embark on a new journey.
I wish you will give me your blessings..this i greatly need..
You will never come to read this..but there's no other way for me to pour out my feelings..

09-24-2006 at 08:16 AM

It's time..

2006-10-31T13:42:00.000+08:00

Today marks a new beginning in my life..
I should not have let the worries of life burden me down,hold me back from where i belong..
My dreams & goals,isn't them what resolved me to change?
How can i give up so soon,without a fight.
Someone very close to me told me to follow my heart..
This i should have done long ago..

I was born to be free..please do not try to hold or restrain me..
I'm meant for great things..even if you all don't believe in me..just pray for me to have a safe journey..

09-22-2006 at 09:43 PM

Heartwarming..

2006-10-31T13:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i went to Sean's ROM..
Love is such an intangible thing and yet it can do wonders..
Two people in love..forming a communion..so beautiful..

Wonder when it'll be my turn..
Will i be able to find her in the midst of the ocean..?

Love..
The only thing in the world
You have to give first before you can recieve.

09-20-2006 at 09:42 AM

Sorry..

2006-10-31T13:39:00.000+08:00

Brother..
It seems that you know me better than myself.
I can run but i can't hide.
I can lie to the whole world but not myself.
Lord,please grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change,
The courage to change the things i can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Thank You..

09-17-2006 at 10:19 PM

Where are you..

2006-10-31T13:38:00.000+08:00

I miss you..there's no one to pour out my feelings to..
How i wish you are just a phone call away..hearing your voice never
fails to calm me down.

I really feel like giving up sometimes,too much for me to handle,too
high a task for me.
The challenges of life are starting to wear me down,my grip is slipping..
I struggle everyday,with every decision i make.
The job is mundane,enviroment unconducive,sales tatics unethical.
Mum is too pressing,i need my own space badly..
Friends can't spare a thought for me,the commitments i have to fulfill..
I'm getting disoriented,my studies are slacking..

Where's my vision,my dreams,my goals..
They were here yesterday..how i long for yesterday..

09-17-2006 at 05:38 PM

Still going strong..

2006-10-31T13:32:00.000+08:00

This morning,did my first 12km under an hour!
Never quite believe myself to be able to do it.
Well..guess the old saying is right;
There's no trying or not trying,
It's only a matter of doing or not doing.

Only as high as you reach,then as far as you can go..

09-14-2006 at 05:55PM

Set your own pace,run your own race..

2006-10-31T13:28:00.000+08:00

Wow,24 hrs a day sure ain't enough!
Must learn to stop and smell the roses,man.
I mustn't lose sight of my goals and get burden down by life's
worries. It's time to be objective,assertive and have some order in my
life.

Life is like a journey
Whenever we conquer a certain hill-top
Then
We realise there's another mountain waiting for us.
A journey is also like a book
It's not measured by it's wideness or thickness
But by
How fulfilling and enriching the substance is..

By the way,did my first 10km on Monday.
Cheer for me!

09-07-2006 at 07:54 AM

Waited 5 years..

2006-10-31T13:22:00.000+08:00

To think that i waited 5 years for this kind of life.. Right,life isn't supposed to be a bed of roses but why does it deals me shit all the time.?.. I can't go back to the past and yet it is so hard to fit into the future;it's like force-fit a round peg into a square hole.. Everyday the things i do are so mundane..just passing through the motion..
I was f*** by an idiot giving a comment to his friend saying that he doesn't like to be look at this way and what am i rushing for, to reincarnation or what. I tell you this,it took all of me to walk away..just let it go..
I ask myself,why do i subject myself to this kind of treatment.It's so easy in the past,i just turn back and give him a piece of me.
It is really very hard for me to lead this 'new' life.

08-30-2006 at 09:49 AM

Be strong..and brave..

2006-10-31T13:15:00.000+08:00

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
None of us can ever fully escape from the influence of our past.I truly believe,however,that by remembering,we can turn the pain of our poor choices into wonderful lessons that help us create the healthly and loving relationships we desire.

08-28-2006 at 08:40 AM

Friendship..

2006-10-31T13:14:00.000+08:00

Friendship is a promise spoken by the heart.It's not given by any pledge nor written on any paper.It's a promise renewed everywe keep in touch..
Good friends are those who care without hestitations,who remember without limitation and remembers the same even without communications..
We all take different paths in life,but no matter where we go,we take a little of each other everywhere we go..

To everyone that i have crossed path with..

08-27-2006 at 08:36 AM

2006-10-31T13:11:00.000+08:00

Have you ever crossed path with a friend whom the both of you clicked & bonded so much that you feel like you have know each other all your lives..This is how it is with me and Andy.In times of crisis,he do not ask me why,but how.The times we spend inside together seem just only yesterday,cannot be considered long gauged against the 'norm' and yet we can built a lifetime of memories on it..(' ;) Thank you my Brother,for your friendship,care & concern,understanding and constantly remembering me in your prayers.

What is a true friend?

a true friend are many things-

a good companion
a good consultant
a good listener
a good sport

a true friend can give you cherished memories
a true friend's simple gesture can lighten up your day
but most of all
a true friend is when in times of crisis,
he do not ask why,he ask how?

08-25-2006 at 08:25 PM

Independence..

2006-10-31T12:58:00.000+08:00

Today is the 15th day i regained independence..Time and tide sure waits for no man.So much things have changed while only i have not.I feel like i am still stuck in a transition,unable to relate to this 'new' world,unable to fit in..Preparing 5 years for this acid test,i thought it would be a breeze but no,every single second i have to make a new 'wise' decision.It's so easy to go back to the familiar past,the places,the people,to do the things i used to do.I know deep down that the path back would only lead to a dead end and yet it is so hard to let go of the past when it does have precious memories.I feel so bad not catching up with my 'friends'..Am i letting them down?Why should others give a chance when i myself don't give?No wonder they say doing the right thing is hard.
I'm really grateful and indebted to my family,my counsellors,friends for easing my reintegration back to the society.Everyday one of them will keep me in check with thoughtful and encouraging words.
I have finally learnt to surrender myself entirely to God for He will provide.Only then i can have true peace in my mind,heart and soul.
Now i must find meaning and purpose in life to keep me going through each day..only then can i live and lead a fulfilling life.

Life Lesson
"When you're down,you're not out.
You know,win or lose,you've still got to finish."

08-23-2006 at 09:07 AM

2006-10-30T12:08:00.000+08:00

Love in as how i see it..

Love is like the sunshine,it's there or it's not.
Love is something everyone wants or maybe they've got.
Love is something actions explain,possession and crueliness mean you've lost again..

Whoever said 'it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all',must have never loved and lost as hard as i'd done,because i didn't think i had the flexibility to withstand the emotional whiplash again..

The race of my life..

2006-01-12T00:16:00.000+08:00